Octopus Jokes
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Q: What do you call an Octopus with no legs?
A: A puss.
Q: Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
A: On Squid Row
Q: Who held the baby octopus for ransom?
A: Squidnappers!
Q: How does an octopus go to war?
A: Well Armed!
Q: How can you tell if two octuspus' are lovers ?
A: They walk arm in arm in arm in arm!
Q: What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
A: Two octopuses shaking hands.
Q: What do octopuses play in their spare time?
A: Name that tuna.
This ones a lil dirty, cleaned it up a bit, and it's still funny.
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.
"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."