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Thread title speaks for itself. 
Groaners, the forum that will NEVER DIE
- Thread starter Tintenfisch
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Did anyone else know that this the oldest open thread on TONMO.com?
A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. He drowned and his body was never found.
The biologist said she wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. She too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. He drowned and his body was never found.
The biologist said she wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. She too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".
cuttlegirl said:
Tell me, In Pittsburgh, do the dead make it a habit of returning? Maybe a large following for George Romero in the area?
Ok, so the joke needs some work... check out my edit. By the way, how many physicists do you know who would actually walk in the ocean? Wouldn't they just figure out some formula in the safety of their lab? 
The only physicists i've ever know worked on the theroethical side of the discipline, which according to my observations, involved them wandering around doing whatever they felt.....
Maybe I won't be so cynical if any of them publish. Ever.
Maybe I won't be so cynical if any of them publish. Ever.
Glad you liked it, though the delivery wasn't quite mine, a bit more akin to the style of Um or Clem.....
Maybe i'm coming down with something:
"You look a little peaked. Are you ok?"
"Eh, It's nothing. Just feeling tad Clemish."
Maybe i'm coming down with something:
"You look a little peaked. Are you ok?"
"Eh, It's nothing. Just feeling tad Clemish."
Actually I thought it was more Gregish...
BLASPHEMY!!!!
ps- Greg:
ps- Greg:
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A physicist would be likely to use some sort of a boat. Archimedes rules! (Ruled!)
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My classmates recently held an online discussion of jokes. Granted, we're all kind of nerdy science students, but I still think they are pretty funny. They're mainly science jokes, but I figure this is a scientific forum, and therefore enough people on here should get them to make it enjoyable.
Q: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing, you can’t cross a scalar with a vector
(I remember that math lesson)
Math teachers don't die, they reduce to lowest terms.
Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands peanut butter side down. Based on these axioms, a cat with peanut butter toast strapped to its back will therefore hover above the ground in a state of quantum indecision.
(Would love to see that!)
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron".
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
(Ah, so many chemistry jokes!)
Two antennas get married. The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
If both a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska fall into the water
which one disolves faster?
The one in Alaska because it is Polar
What is this molecule: H3NCONH3?
Urea.
What is this molecule: H3NCONH2-H2NCONH3?
Diurea!!!
Alas for Little Willy
We'll not see Willy more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
(Who can say no to a joke that rhymes?)
What did the psychologist do after she had twins?
She baptized one, and kept the other as a control.
(You may need to have taken a psyc course to appreciate this)
How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down it's genes
What's a pirate's favorite amino acid?
Arrrrrrrrginine. (For those pirates on the boards)
And finally, something slightly different:
There are two sausages in a frying pan. One says "Man, it's hot in here!" and the other replies "HOLY CRAP A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Cheers!
Q: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing, you can’t cross a scalar with a vector
(I remember that math lesson)
Math teachers don't die, they reduce to lowest terms.
Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands peanut butter side down. Based on these axioms, a cat with peanut butter toast strapped to its back will therefore hover above the ground in a state of quantum indecision.
(Would love to see that!)
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron".
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
(Ah, so many chemistry jokes!)
Two antennas get married. The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
If both a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska fall into the water
which one disolves faster?
The one in Alaska because it is Polar
What is this molecule: H3NCONH3?
Urea.
What is this molecule: H3NCONH2-H2NCONH3?
Diurea!!!
Alas for Little Willy
We'll not see Willy more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
(Who can say no to a joke that rhymes?)
What did the psychologist do after she had twins?
She baptized one, and kept the other as a control.
(You may need to have taken a psyc course to appreciate this)
How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down it's genes
What's a pirate's favorite amino acid?
Arrrrrrrrginine. (For those pirates on the boards)
And finally, something slightly different:
There are two sausages in a frying pan. One says "Man, it's hot in here!" and the other replies "HOLY CRAP A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Cheers!
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