Groaners, the forum that will NEVER DIE

[Steve O'Shea]

Now see what you've dredged up here, Steve?

 

[OB]

Well, I'm having fun, anyway

 

[Tintenfisch]

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron".
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
(Ah, so many chemistry jokes!)

A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and has a few beers, then asks for the bill. The bartender says, 'For you? No charge!'


Loved the antennas, Jesse.

 

[Graeme]

oh noooo! Actually to be fair I did laugh at those Chemistry jokes, quite loudly as well!

Here's some, I don't know if they've been said before, but I'm too afraid to plough through the depths of this thread... I fear for my sanity:

What's tthe most common type of owl? the teat-owl (tea-towel)

why did the owl 'owl? 'cause the woodpecker would peck 'er... That's a flaming awful one.

Two cow in a field, and one says to the other "mooo", the other says "Oi, cheeky git, I was going to say that!"

"An unknown masked robber stole all the toilets in the local constabulary, after a week of investigations, the police still have nothing to go on"

I have loads more but a lot of them are visual, like "what's this? (slide palm of hand past ear while saying "vroom!"), an engine-ear... what's this? (same again but wave and say "hi" before) a Civil engine-ear"


A piece of string goes into a bar, and the bartender refuses him, saying that they can't serve string, so next day he ties a knot in his midriff and goes back to the bar
"oi, can't serve you sunny"
"how so?"
"you're a piece of string aren't you!?"
"no, I'm a frayed knot" (afraid not)

in the words of Fozzie bear, wakka wakka wakkaaaaa

Graeme

 

[chrono_war01]

Anyone remember the Chemisty"Bond" jokes?

 

[sorseress]

Graeme, those are worse than groaners....I don't know if word exists to describe just how BAD those are............

 

[tonmo]

Guys, guys!! These are supposed to be cephalopod jokes!! The jokes you are telling here have nothing to do with cephs, and that just doesn't make any senescence.

 

[cuttlegirl]

Ok, ok, ok

Where do you find a down and out octopus?
On squid row...

 

[bigGdelta]

oh noooo! Actually to be fair I did laugh at those Chemistry jokes, quite loudly as well!

Here's some, I don't know if they've been said before, but I'm too afraid to plough through the depths of this thread... I fear for my sanity:

What's tthe most common type of owl? the teat-owl (tea-towel)

why did the owl 'owl? 'cause the woodpecker would peck 'er... That's a flaming awful one.

Two cow in a field, and one says to the other "mooo", the other says "Oi, cheeky git, I was going to say that!"

"An unknown masked robber stole all the toilets in the local constabulary, after a week of investigations, the police still have nothing to go on"

I have loads more but a lot of them are visual, like "what's this? (slide palm of hand past ear while saying "vroom!"), an engine-ear... what's this? (same again but wave and say "hi" before) a Civil engine-ear"


A piece of string goes into a bar, and the bartender refuses him, saying that they can't serve string, so next day he ties a knot in his midriff and goes back to the bar
"oi, can't serve you sunny"
"how so?"
"you're a piece of string aren't you!?"
"no, I'm a frayed knot" (afraid not)

in the words of Fozzie bear, wakka wakka wakkaaaaa[Graeme

 

[bobwonderbuns]

Quote: quote by bigGdelta
Originally Posted by Graeme
oh noooo! Actually to be fair I did laugh at those Chemistry jokes, quite loudly as well!

Here's some, I don't know if they've been said before, but I'm too afraid to plough through the depths of this thread... I fear for my sanity:

What's tthe most common type of owl? the teat-owl (tea-towel)

why did the owl 'owl? 'cause the woodpecker would peck 'er... That's a flaming awful one.

Two cow in a field, and one says to the other "mooo", the other says "Oi, cheeky git, I was going to say that!"

"An unknown masked robber stole all the toilets in the local constabulary, after a week of investigations, the police still have nothing to go on"

I have loads more but a lot of them are visual, like "what's this? (slide palm of hand past ear while saying "vroom!"), an engine-ear... what's this? (same again but wave and say "hi" before) a Civil engine-ear"


A piece of string goes into a bar, and the bartender refuses him, saying that they can't serve string, so next day he ties a knot in his midriff and goes back to the bar
"oi, can't serve you sunny"
"how so?"
"you're a piece of string aren't you!?"
"no, I'm a frayed knot" (afraid not)

in the words of Fozzie bear, wakka wakka wakkaaaaa[Graeme

Nonsense!! They were awesome and I hurt myself laughing at them!! (What does that say about me??

 

[Graeme]

Here's a reeeeeally bad one then... Dunno where it came from... probably the dark recesses on my mind...

Did you hear about the fight between the two octopuses? one kicked the other square in the tentacles! Claimed the poor blighter owed him 20 (s)quid!!

How do squid get to the moon? In a space cuttle

What do you call cephalopods that work on backshift? Am-on-nights...

Did you hear about the octopus streaker? He waves his hectocotylus at people...

You ain't heard a bad joke til you've heard a Graeme!

Well you did say ceph-related... That's the only ones I could think up... unless they've been done before, I dunno
Graeme

 

[Graeme]

Guys, guys!! These are supposed to be cephalopod jokes!! The jokes you are telling here have nothing to do with cephs, and that just doesn't make any senescence.

Yeah I s'pose some of the jokes are old... Erm... that's what senescence means, right??
Hot diggedy, I knew uni came in useful for something! I knowed a big word!

Graeme

 

[bobwonderbuns]

Ok Graeme, you win!!

 

[sorseress]

Hey, those are actually pretty good, as groaners go

 

[Graeme]

Ya really think so? Hmmm, I may have to rethink smoething here...

Graeme