Tall, beautiful, blue, and tentacled too!

Discussion in 'Culture' started by nanoteuthis, Jun 3, 2003.

  1. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    In my neverending search for media squiddage, I was surprised to see that nobody has yet mentioned the 1997 s.f. film THE FIFTH ELEMENT. One of the characters featured is Diva Plavalaguna -- a tall, beautiful, mysterious blue alien singer with an abundance of tentacles in some very odd places. In a memorable musical segment of the film, Plavalaguna delivers a spectacular rendition of an aria from Donizetti's LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR, followed by a weird but thrilling disco-classical synthesis listed in the credits as the "Diva Dance".

    The Diva -- who has few spoken lines -- is portrayed and lip-sync'd by French actress Maïwenn Le Besco, but the singing is dubbed by award-winning Albanian soprano Inva Mula-Tchako (who IMHO deserves most of the credit for the role, along with the makeup artists who created the alien beauty's look).

    Most of the online pics of the character are hard-to-see thumbnails, but I managed to find one good, full-sized one:

    http://movieweb.com/movie/5thelement/coa.jpg

    While you can't see them in this photo, Diva Plavalaguna's tentacles also extend from the back of her head as well as down her back, and her fingers are exaggeratedly long and graceful so as to suggest tentacles also.

    THE FIFTH ELEMENT itself can't decide whether it wants to be a serious s.f. story or a comedy, but it has many things going for it: Along with the tentacled Diva, it features a bizarre but sweet Milla Jovovich as the Supreme Being (yes, you heard that right), a maniacally funny Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod (a not-so-subtle takeoff on the-artist-formerly-known-as-The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince), and Gary Oldman as a quintessential bad guy. On the negative side, it has Bruce Willis as the hero (can't stand him, never could and never will, with the possible exception of THE SIXTH SENSE). Lots of fun and worth renting, anyway.

    Your were-squid in the balcony :popcorn:
    Tani
     
  2. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    i LOVE that movie....im just mad i never thought of the diva as squid-ish... gary oldman is too funny as "jean..baptiste..emmanuel....zorg" like a hitler with a limp and a southern accent after someone stuck half an "icee" lid on his head.... it is scifi, but definitely not too serious....


    a good :popcorn: movie (even without much cephfluence)


    :cthulhu: :heart: :beer:
     
  3. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    :lol: Perfect description of Zorg! And let's not forget the squished elephant Beanie Baby that lived in his drawer and refused to save him when he was choking.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed 5E. I know it got very mixed reviews, but I seldom listen to critics -- e.g., I am also one of the three or four people in the solar system who actually enjoyed the Dino De Horrendous version of DUNE. (I liked the Sci-Fi Channel miniseries too, though the guy they got to play Paul Muad'Dib was chopped liver compared to Kyle MacLachlan.)

    You are hereby forgiven for not noticing Diva Plavalaguna's squidliness. However, as penance, you must sit through an intermission-free screening of BEAST without making a single snide remark about how incredibly stupid it is.

    :jester: :squid:
    Me
     
  4. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    fine with me...only if you can watch Tentacles without thinking "why am i watching this?" or "i need a :beer:"....i dont have a copy of the movie...should i just reread the book?

    everytime i watch 5th El. with my partner-in-crime, for the next few hours i can count on her repeating "bada biiiiig boom" and "MUL ti pass" several times....

    i tried to watch the original dune but could never get more than a few minutes in... i did like the scifi one but the guy playing paul was almost more luke skywalker than luke skywalker (whiney)

    this is irrelevent, but what is wrong with luc besson? married milla jovovich then divorced her?


    :cthulhu: :heart: :beer:
     
  5. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    As long as she doesn't use your computer keyboard while eating "chee-ken" with her hands. :P

    Agreed about the Sci-Fi Channel's Muad'Dib -- his entire emotional range consisted of "bored" and "irritated". I guess part of the reason I don't mind sitting through the original DUNE is watching Kyle in his tight stillsuit (it's a chick thing :wink: ) -- though he is a fine actor in his own right (Kyle was also the main reason I watched TWIN PEAKS, at least for the first few episodes before it became completely incomprehensible).

    "Good cuppa joe, Agent Cooper...." [no coffee emoticon?]
     
  6. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    cheeken good....

    Squid better..... :twisted:


    :meso: :beer:
     
  7. Fujisawas Sake

    Fujisawas Sake Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter Registered

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    Oh, and what about Bib Fortuna from "Return of the Jedi"? He had two tentacles jutting outta his head!

    (P.S.: Notice that I didn't say "Episode 6"? Let's keep it that way... :x ... Not that I haven't become completely jaded by Star Wars lately...)

    Sushi and the Fifth Element,

    John
     
  8. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    i thought about that, but between her elongated head and 12 tentacles (6 on head, 4 upper back, 2 lower) and his two, she's a little more squidish... but he does get honorable mention.....

    HO HO HO HO HO HAAAAAAAA (a la Jabba)

    :cthulhu: :heart: :beer:
     
  9. Sedusa

    Sedusa GPO Registered

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    5th Element - wonderful movie and I don't believe I have any friends who do not like it; this says good things about my friends. Dune - there were some really great parts in that movie and I loved it as a kid but I really love the books (all except god emperor of dune) and I felt that it was missing something. On the other hand, the stillsuits were just as I had imagined them (unlike the miniseries) and I seem to remember the Guild Navigator as being pretty Cuttle-esque. (Just watched the second SciFi miniseries a couple of days ago, actually, and enjoyed that) In Star Wars, well, let's see. Admiral Akbar of course, and the Mon Calamari are obviously squiddish, there's a character whose actual name I can't recall but who is called "Squid Head" in the action figure series, and that tentacly sycophant of Jabba's...
     
  10. Colin

    Colin Colossal Squid Supporter

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    oh noooooooooooooooooooo :heee:
    this thread is gonna leave me hoisted by my own pitard!!!!!!!

    The squid head in ROTJ was a Quarren, also from Mon Calamari called Tessek

    Bib Fortuna was a Twi'lek from Ryloth :sun:

    Another Twi'lek was Ooola who got scranned in the Rancor's pit in ROTJ. :snorkel:

    And they added some more Twi'leks in ep I and II
    :tentacle:


    milla jovovich??????? Yes I too would divorce her in a heartbeat! http://www.cinema-stars.com/milla/imageHtms/7.htm obviously all men find her quite unattractive :P
     
  11. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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  12. Colin

    Colin Colossal Squid Supporter

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    well, you know what they say about men with big noses!!!!?????






    They can smell things from further away
     
  13. tonmo

    tonmo Titanites Staff Member Webmaster Moderator

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    Sure, I found the full photo. But I'm afraid it might not be what you had in mind... :wink:
     
  14. Steve O'Shea

    Steve O'Shea Colossal Squid Supporter

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    :goofysca: :goofysca: :goofysca:

    ....what is going on here?

    .... is he that fellow in Die Hard 1? Is this the infamous Alan Rickman that we keep hearing about??
     
  15. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    yup, he is the die hard villian.... if tani is so interested in the lower half of mister rickman, you should see if you can find a picture from the beginning half of Dogma.... :)

    :cthulhu: :heart: :beer:
     
  16. The Moog

    The Moog O. bimaculoides Registered

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    Haha!
    I have found that picture, and I know exactly why you mentioned it!
    I have saved it, ready for posting, but don't know if I am allowed...there are trousers unfastened and at a lower level than normally worn... :!:

    Please Advise!

    Anyway, I preferred him in Robin Hood, prince of ridiculous haircuts, totally stole the film, an excellent Sheriff of Nottingham, even Phil may agree with me for once.

    Moog
    Temporarily in Chicago
     
  17. tonmo

    tonmo Titanites Staff Member Webmaster Moderator

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    uhhhhhhh.... sounds like you can email that directly to Tani, I don't think anyone else here will be disappointed... :D :police:
     
  18. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    at the time he's saying: See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. "
     
  19. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    Tony: :roflmao: Good one! Sadistic, but funny.

    Kiboko: Nice try Big Guy, but I saw DOGMA and you're not fooling me one bit! "Anatomically incorrect as a Ken doll," indeed!

    http://www.chantico.com/alanrickman/films/dogma.shtml

    (scroll down to fifth picture)

    There is, however, something to be said for a 10 ft. wingspan....

    :mrgreen:
     
  20. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    I don't believe it -- apparently at least four of us posted replies to that simultaneously. Is this a sign that longtime TONMO members acquire telepathic powers?
     

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