Octopus (Pro) Wrestling

Discussion in 'Culture' started by nanoteuthis, Feb 3, 2003.

  1. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    [N.B.: The original "Octopus Wrestling" forum was for administrators only, so I had to post this as a new topic.]

    Hey gang, here's a great idea for raising public consciousness of cephalopods, and perhaps even a little $$ for the cause!

    Since Vince McMahon has made a fortune with his professional wrestling empire, why not go "pro" with octopus wrestling as well? It can be a weekly show on the Animal Planet network, featuring cephs going head-to-head (or arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm) with one another.

    Instead of sports stadiums, you could hold the competitions at aquariums all over the world. Before matches the cephs can oil themselves down (with cod liver oil, of course), make rude gestures at their opponents (substituting "the tentacle" for "the finger"), and spit seawater and ink threateningly in each other's faces. They could wear glittery costumes or even fancy masks, and take such colorful names as Stone Cold Steve Architeuthis, The Rock Lobster, Kurt Angler, André the Giant Pacific Octopus, Rowdy Roddy Pipefish, and The Underwatertaker. Instead of Hell in a Cell, the main event could be Battle in an Atoll, or perhaps even Grief on a Reef.

    Of course, every pro wrestling event needs a Novelty Act, so in this case we can "kill two kiwi birds with one stone" by making it a Handicap Grudge Match featuring Steve-O' against a dozen ravenous Humboldts in (what else?) our official TONMO Jacuzzi. Winner(s) will be awarded their choice of either a lifetime supply of krill, or a 500-liter keg of Foster's (and don't make any rash assumptions about who would choose what!)

    From a strictly unbiased, critical, scientific and mature point of view, I think this is The Best Idea I Ever Had, and anyone who disagrees with me is a Big Nasty Foo-Foo Head.

    "If ya smell-l-l-l-l-l what the Tanster is cookin'!" 8)
     
  2. rrtanton

    rrtanton Vampyroteuthis Registered

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    Where can I sign up?! I want a crack at that krill!

    Mmmmm............kriiiillllll...........

    rusty
     
  3. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    Sure, why not? Leaves that much more beer for the Humboldts!
    :beer::arrow: :squid:
     
  4. Jean

    Jean Colossal Squid Supporter

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    Hey Tani,

    I think I'd rather have the Fosters, at least I can hold my nose and swill that down. Having had experience with both krill and beer, beer wins although I don't much like it either and being a southern NZer I should be drinking SPEIGHTS!!!!!!

    Jean
     
  5. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    Mea culpa! :( This humble Yank sheila stands corrected. Sometimes I get my Antipodean delicacies confused. I've never had Speights, but they do have a rather nice logo:

    https://s0.ssl.net.nz/rugbypostnz/bc-tee2.html

    However, I assume you do have Vegemite (or some variation thereof, like Marmite) in New Xena Land, and I did get some from an import catalog once. From the teaspoonful of the stuff I was able to force down, I can honestly say that the krillburgers couldn't have been that much worse. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that the notoriously high per capita consumption of alcohol in the Antipodes, is a direct function of its use in killing the taste of Vegemite.

    Anyway, I would gladly participate in such a study here in the US, provided I'm in the control group that gets the booze without the Vegemite!

    :mrgreen: Slightly pickled,
    Me
     
  6. Jean

    Jean Colossal Squid Supporter

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    hmmmmmmm vegemite or marmite, marmite or vegemite, I'll have........jam (or should that be jelly for you yanks!!).

    I'm with you on that one Tani, of course after imbibing a suitable quantity of Speights maybe vegemite/marmite/krill patties would taste OK????


    nah not possible!!

    J
     
  7. rrtanton

    rrtanton Vampyroteuthis Registered

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    I can't vouch for all areas of the country, but where I'm from, it seems as though jelly is usually the thinner, slightly water-ey, and totally lacking in seeds/translucent type, grape jelly being the archetype of jellies. Jams, on the other tentacle, are somewhat thicker, less watery, and more likely to have seeds, little bits of the fruit or whatever present in them, strawberry jam probably being the archetype of those. "Preserves" is (I think) typically used interchangeably with "jam." Is this the typical definition for most folks?

    It's fascinating how certain terms differ. Not too long ago I learned that although "Corn" refers specifically to maize in the US, it was really just a British term for "grain," used interchangeably to this day. British colonists saw the specific TYPE of "corn" that the natives were using (maize), and over the years it came to be the American name for it.

    In some portions of the US, "Coke" means "soda," "pop," or "soft drink." If you order a Coke in a restaurant there, you may be asked what type you want... :P

    rusty
     
  8. Tintenfisch

    Tintenfisch Architeuthis Staff Member Moderator

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    That's true... I'll have a Sprite Coke please... :)
    Did you know that in Rhode Island a milkshake is called a cabinet???

    Anyway... super idea, Tani! Though I would have to say, I might just take krill over beer... can we choose half of each and beer-fry the krill?
     
  9. Colin

    Colin Colossal Squid Supporter

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    okay, i can beat that!

    Ginger!

    There is a soft drink here (we call all of them 'juice' not just fresh orange etc)....

    okay start again

    there is a type of juice here called Irn Bru (Iron brew) and it is allegedly made from girders, its scotlands other national drink... anyway the nickname for that is ginger, cuz of the colour.. but now "gies a drink o yer ginger mate" could mean any juice that was at hand coke or other.... it doesnt have ginger in it.. i dont think???


    http://www.irn-bru.co.uk/irnbru.asp

    em, its also called 'jeg' but that escapes me....

    oh, and while im rabbiting on about nothing........ you can return the bottle for 20p and they often get called 'glass cheques' but not many people will admit to scrounging all the empties and cashing them in LOL
     
  10. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    What the....? That's gotta be the weirdest site on the web since the original Hampsterdance went to that Great Hard Disk In The Sky. I have no doubt that it was designed under the influence of coke-with-a-small-"c", which on our side of the Pond means that powdery stuff that keeps getting Robert Downey, Jr. into trouble.

    Anyway, around here "ginger ale" generally refers to a carbonated commercial soft drink flavored lightly with ginger, which in turn is a mere shadow of the original "ginger beer", a non-carbonated, homemade Caribbean soft drink that packs a real spicy punch of natural ginger. (The latter is infinitely better, but harder to get unless you live in a West Indian neighborhood.)

    One of our unique Noo Yawk traditions is a drink we call an "egg cream", which interestingly enough contains neither egg nor cream. It's made with seltzer or club soda, milk, and either chocolate or vanilla syrup. I don't know how much things have changed lately, but it used to be that if you ordered an egg cream in any other part of the US, all you'd get was a blank stare. Trying to explain it as an ice cream soda without the ice cream (which is an accurate description) would only make the reaction worse, e.g., "Why would anyone want to do that?"

    As for the great jelly debate, this is how I understand the progression to be (with increasing degrees of density and whole-fruit content): jelly, jam, preserves, compote. This does not include the cnidarian/ctenophore by-product known as "fresh jellyfish jelly", the preferred snack food of pineapple-dwellling poriferans and their echinoderm acquaintances. [cf. S. Hillenburg, Absorbent and Yellow and Porous Is He, 2002]

    On this subject, note that Yours Truly has eaten a form of this delicacy (shredded jellyfish) at a Chinese restaurant, and found it to be as yummy as rancid sauerkraut with the satisfying consistency of old rubber bands. Whether Tintenfisch would find this dish preferable to beer and/or krill is a matter known only to her and her local pub owner.

    Now what was Colin's comment about rabbiting on about nothing? (Well, it worked on Seinfeld....)

    :?
    George Cos-Tani-Za
     
  11. Jean

    Jean Colossal Squid Supporter

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    Well, I haven't eaten shredded jellyfish but I have eaten pickled salted jellyfish and when I think of that maybe krill and marmite patties washed down with a Fosters ain't so bad after all! My boss at the aquarium has adventurous tastebuds, and she tends to foist......sorry she encourages us to have em too!

    Colin, I'm originally from Glasgow and I remember Irn Bru, I have to say it wasn't my favourite although my Dad persuaded our local Scottish Shop to import some, so he can occassionally imbibe (makes it kinda expensive though!) Hey maybe we could start a new kind of health drink, Irn Bru/krill/marmite smoothies guarunteed to make you strong as a GS!

    J
     
  12. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    ....and give your breath that oh-so-alluring fragrance of ammonia :snorkel:
     
  13. Jean

    Jean Colossal Squid Supporter

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    At some of the varsity parties I've been to no-one would notice!!! :cheers: :squid:

    J
     
  14. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    Woo-hoo! I haven't been to a real-live kegger since college (sometime back in the Devonian Era). When's the next plane from Kennedy Airport? I'm there!

    8)
     
  15. Jean

    Jean Colossal Squid Supporter

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    You'd be very welcome Tani, we'd even make our famous Marine Science "Toxic Algal Bloom" for you!

    J
     
  16. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    the way these posts have wandered off the original topic makes me wonder something... can cephs achieve an altered state of consciousness? i realize youd have to be loose with the definition of the word, so ill dumb it down a tad.... ever seen a tipsy octo or a drunk squid? (excluding any beer-battered calamari) but since when you keep one, you have to be careful about whats in the tank, would that make the critters fans of the Reinheitsgebot? But back to the wrestling, i'd be willing to grapple with 20x my weight in GPOs for 2 kegs, as long as theyre cold and not made by anhauser-busch.... maybe my math is a tad off, but that seems like a much cheaper option than the 100 Gal of Fosters... hehe Fosters: Australian for Canadian (at least around here) its even funnier if you know the foster brothers were originally American.... but then again rounding up 3 tons of GPO would be a handful...
     
  17. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    DRAT!! forgot to tack this onto the end of the message.... i think i originally found the link on here sometime long ago but i could be mistaken... anyways i thought it fitting

    The Cephalopod Chronicles

    this is another exception, along with the calamari
     
  18. Tintenfisch

    Tintenfisch Architeuthis Staff Member Moderator

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    Wow, and I thought I had too much free time... maybe we should start one for The Squid, kiwi cousin of the octopod explorer :)
     
  19. WhiteKiboko

    WhiteKiboko Colossal Squid Supporter Registered

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    actually...my friend has a stuffed architeuthis...we took a few pictures, but never were bored enough to put a coherent story line together....maybe in a little bit we'll get around to it.... i know the squid is not nearly as well traveled and is a tad more enamored by, how should i say.... libations.. plus there are a few pics implicating our furry friend in the homicide of another stuffed animal.... perhaps if boredom reigns supreme, we'll frame a sea dragon.... plus i dont want to scrounge up extra pairs of handcuffs for a trial sequence.... :)
     
  20. nanoteuthis

    nanoteuthis Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Supporter

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    ROTFLMAO, Kiboko, I can just picture that! :roflmao: (Am I correct in assuming that Architeuthis handcuffs are fastened with Velcro?)

    Along the same lines, here's one that Tintenfisch found and posted as a link on the old board (remember this one, Kat?) It's way up there with the late lamented HAMPSTERDANCE as one of the Top Ten Time Wasters on the web:

    http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html

    "Oh, the humanity!"

    :cthulhu: :mrgreen:
     

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