Octopus (Pro) Wrestling

nanoteuthis

Larger Pacific Striped Octopus
Registered
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
Reaction score
23
[N.B.: The original "Octopus Wrestling" forum was for administrators only, so I had to post this as a new topic.]

Hey gang, here's a great idea for raising public consciousness of cephalopods, and perhaps even a little $$ for the cause!

Since Vince McMahon has made a fortune with his professional wrestling empire, why not go "pro" with octopus wrestling as well? It can be a weekly show on the Animal Planet network, featuring cephs going head-to-head (or arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm to arm) with one another.

Instead of sports stadiums, you could hold the competitions at aquariums all over the world. Before matches the cephs can oil themselves down (with cod liver oil, of course), make rude gestures at their opponents (substituting "the tentacle" for "the finger"), and spit seawater and ink threateningly in each other's faces. They could wear glittery costumes or even fancy masks, and take such colorful names as Stone Cold Steve Architeuthis, The Rock Lobster, Kurt Angler, André the Giant Pacific Octopus, Rowdy Roddy Pipefish, and The Underwatertaker. Instead of Hell in a Cell, the main event could be Battle in an Atoll, or perhaps even Grief on a Reef.

Of course, every pro wrestling event needs a Novelty Act, so in this case we can "kill two kiwi birds with one stone" by making it a Handicap Grudge Match featuring Steve-O' against a dozen ravenous Humboldts in (what else?) our official TONMO Jacuzzi. Winner(s) will be awarded their choice of either a lifetime supply of krill, or a 500-liter keg of Foster's (and don't make any rash assumptions about who would choose what!)

From a strictly unbiased, critical, scientific and mature point of view, I think this is The Best Idea I Ever Had, and anyone who disagrees with me is a Big Nasty Foo-Foo Head.

"If ya smell-l-l-l-l-l what the Tanster is cookin'!" 8)
 

rrtanton

Vampyroteuthis
Registered
Joined
Nov 27, 2002
Messages
286
Reaction score
0
Where can I sign up?! I want a crack at that krill!

Mmmmm............kriiiillllll...........

rusty
 

nanoteuthis

Larger Pacific Striped Octopus
Registered
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
Reaction score
23
Sure, why not? Leaves that much more beer for the Humboldts!
:beer::arrow: :squid:
 

Jean

Colossal Squid
Registered
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Messages
4,218
Reaction score
138
Location
Dunedin, New Zealand
Hey Tani,

I think I'd rather have the Fosters, at least I can hold my nose and swill that down. Having had experience with both krill and beer, beer wins although I don't much like it either and being a southern NZer I should be drinking SPEIGHTS!!!!!!

Jean
 

nanoteuthis

Larger Pacific Striped Octopus
Registered
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
Reaction score
23
Jean said:
Hey Tani,

I think I'd rather have the Fosters, at least I can hold my nose and swill that down. Having had experience with both krill and beer, beer wins although I don't much like it either and being a southern NZer I should be drinking SPEIGHTS!!!!!!

Jean
Mea culpa! :( This humble Yank sheila stands corrected. Sometimes I get my Antipodean delicacies confused. I've never had Speights, but they do have a rather nice logo:

https://s0.ssl.net.nz/rugbypostnz/bc-tee2.html

However, I assume you do have Vegemite (or some variation thereof, like Marmite) in New Xena Land, and I did get some from an import catalog once. From the teaspoonful of the stuff I was able to force down, I can honestly say that the krillburgers couldn't have been that much worse. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that the notoriously high per capita consumption of alcohol in the Antipodes, is a direct function of its use in killing the taste of Vegemite.

Anyway, I would gladly participate in such a study here in the US, provided I'm in the control group that gets the booze without the Vegemite!

:mrgreen: Slightly pickled,
Me
 

Jean

Colossal Squid
Registered
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Messages
4,218
Reaction score
138
Location
Dunedin, New Zealand
hmmmmmmm vegemite or marmite, marmite or vegemite, I'll have........jam (or should that be jelly for you yanks!!).

I'm with you on that one Tani, of course after imbibing a suitable quantity of Speights maybe vegemite/marmite/krill patties would taste OK????


nah not possible!!

J
 

rrtanton

Vampyroteuthis
Registered
Joined
Nov 27, 2002
Messages
286
Reaction score
0
I can't vouch for all areas of the country, but where I'm from, it seems as though jelly is usually the thinner, slightly water-ey, and totally lacking in seeds/translucent type, grape jelly being the archetype of jellies. Jams, on the other tentacle, are somewhat thicker, less watery, and more likely to have seeds, little bits of the fruit or whatever present in them, strawberry jam probably being the archetype of those. "Preserves" is (I think) typically used interchangeably with "jam." Is this the typical definition for most folks?

It's fascinating how certain terms differ. Not too long ago I learned that although "Corn" refers specifically to maize in the US, it was really just a British term for "grain," used interchangeably to this day. British colonists saw the specific TYPE of "corn" that the natives were using (maize), and over the years it came to be the American name for it.

In some portions of the US, "Coke" means "soda," "pop," or "soft drink." If you order a Coke in a restaurant there, you may be asked what type you want... :P

rusty
 

Tintenfisch

Architeuthis
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Messages
2,102
Reaction score
203
That's true... I'll have a Sprite Coke please... :)
Did you know that in Rhode Island a milkshake is called a cabinet???

Anyway... super idea, Tani! Though I would have to say, I might just take krill over beer... can we choose half of each and beer-fry the krill?
 

Colin

TONMO Supporter
Registered
Joined
Nov 14, 2002
Messages
3,986
Reaction score
6
okay, i can beat that!

Ginger!

There is a soft drink here (we call all of them 'juice' not just fresh orange etc)....

okay start again

there is a type of juice here called Irn Bru (Iron brew) and it is allegedly made from girders, its scotlands other national drink... anyway the nickname for that is ginger, cuz of the colour.. but now "gies a drink o yer ginger mate" could mean any juice that was at hand coke or other.... it doesnt have ginger in it.. i dont think???


http://www.irn-bru.co.uk/irnbru.asp

em, its also called 'jeg' but that escapes me....

oh, and while im rabbiting on about nothing........ you can return the bottle for 20p and they often get called 'glass cheques' but not many people will admit to scrounging all the empties and cashing them in LOL
 

nanoteuthis

Larger Pacific Striped Octopus
Registered
Joined
Nov 20, 2002
Messages
1,073
Reaction score
23
Colin said:
okay, i can beat that!

Ginger!

There is a soft drink here (we call all of them 'juice' not just fresh orange etc)....

okay start again

there is a type of juice here called Irn Bru (Iron brew) and it is allegedly made from girders, its scotlands other national drink... anyway the nickname for that is ginger, cuz of the colour.. but now "gies a drink o yer ginger mate" could mean any juice that was at hand coke or other.... it doesnt have ginger in it.. i dont think???


http://www.irn-bru.co.uk/irnbru.asp

em, its also called 'jeg' but that escapes me....

oh, and while im rabbiting on about nothing........ you can return the bottle for 20p and they often get called 'glass cheques' but not many people will admit to scrounging all the empties and cashing them in LOL
What the....? That's gotta be the weirdest site on the web since the original Hampsterdance went to that Great Hard Disk In The Sky. I have no doubt that it was designed under the influence of coke-with-a-small-"c", which on our side of the Pond means that powdery stuff that keeps getting Robert Downey, Jr. into trouble.

Anyway, around here "ginger ale" generally refers to a carbonated commercial soft drink flavored lightly with ginger, which in turn is a mere shadow of the original "ginger beer", a non-carbonated, homemade Caribbean soft drink that packs a real spicy punch of natural ginger. (The latter is infinitely better, but harder to get unless you live in a West Indian neighborhood.)

One of our unique Noo Yawk traditions is a drink we call an "egg cream", which interestingly enough contains neither egg nor cream. It's made with seltzer or club soda, milk, and either chocolate or vanilla syrup. I don't know how much things have changed lately, but it used to be that if you ordered an egg cream in any other part of the US, all you'd get was a blank stare. Trying to explain it as an ice cream soda without the ice cream (which is an accurate description) would only make the reaction worse, e.g., "Why would anyone want to do that?"

As for the great jelly debate, this is how I understand the progression to be (with increasing degrees of density and whole-fruit content): jelly, jam, preserves, compote. This does not include the cnidarian/ctenophore by-product known as "fresh jellyfish jelly", the preferred snack food of pineapple-dwellling poriferans and their echinoderm acquaintances. [cf. S. Hillenburg, Absorbent and Yellow and Porous Is He, 2002]

On this subject, note that Yours Truly has eaten a form of this delicacy (shredded jellyfish) at a Chinese restaurant, and found it to be as yummy as rancid sauerkraut with the satisfying consistency of old rubber bands. Whether Tintenfisch would find this dish preferable to beer and/or krill is a matter known only to her and her local pub owner.

Now what was Colin's comment about rabbiting on about nothing? (Well, it worked on Seinfeld....)

:?
George Cos-Tani-Za
 

Forum statistics

Threads
19,921
Messages
204,132
Members
8,786
Latest member
camcraig

Monty Awards

TONMOCON IV (2011): Terri
TONMOCON V (2013): Jean
TONMOCON VI (2015): Taollan
TONMOCON VII (2018): ekocak

About the Monty Awards
Top