Best "Fish Story" of the Millennium!

isnt it reassuring that we can hijack a news story about almost anything? of course some jokes were better than others, and better than anything i could think of... maybe its just me, but shouldnt this just be in a 'fun' forum instead of 'cephalofun'? unless of course the future dinner started warning people about the trickery of the devilfish....
 
Kiboko and Tintenfisch:

:tomato: :tomato: :tomato: :tomato:

You have both been officially tomatoed and temporarily banished to the dreaded Dosidicus gigas Jacuzzi, where you shall remain until the Humboldts get bored and throw you out.

Tony:

I don't believe that Big Mouth Billy Bass had anything to do with the New Square incident. It was recently revealed that the prophetic creature was not a Carp at all, but a Bluefish. And while Billy Bass is funny, it definitely doesn't look Bluish!

:heee:
 
oooooOOOOO!!! Jacuzzi!!! things are looking up for me.... a bluefish eh? no wonder he was speaking hebrew... hes into the old testament with all the smiting, razing and turning women into large amounts of condiment/spice.... blues are vicious critters....
 
WhiteKiboko said:
oooooOOOOO!!! Jacuzzi!!! things are looking up for me.... a bluefish eh? no wonder he was speaking hebrew... hes into the old testament with all the smiting, razing and turning women into large amounts of condiment/spice.... blues are vicious critters....

Fascinating -- I don't doubt that Bluefish are short-tempered, but i never knew they could turn women into pillars of tartar sauce.

You are apparently thinking of how Jacuzzis are commonly used at spas and resorts. Ah, but this is no ordinary Jacuzzi! It is our Official Virtual Hot Tub of Doom, filled with a dozen hungry, pissed-off, attitudinal Humboldt Squiddies that make Bluefish look like Geoduck Clams. (I have no idea what that means, but it sure sounds ominous :alarm: ) We usually employ this Jacuzzi to discipline Steve-O' when he gets too uppity on this Message Board, but there's room enough for two or three more TONMOers if we determine that they have misbehaved and need a time out (or if we just feel like picking on them). So, beware.... MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Incidentally, you are taking a big risk by leaving Acid so near to that glass of brewski.... remember what happened to him the last time? I strongly suggest that you get another tentacled Beanie and make him the Designated Cephalopod. (See my joke about the 8 shots of bourbon in the Immortalized Groaners thread.)

Tani Banani, Shameless Self-Promoter
 
TaningiaDanae said:
We usually employ this Jacuzzi to discipline Steve-O' when he gets too uppity on this Message Board

The omnipresent Steve-O is watching you Tani :wink: (anyone got a towel?).
 
TaningiaDanae said:
Fascinating -- I don't doubt that Bluefish are short-tempered, but i never knew they could turn women into pillars of tartar sauce.

:smile: ok, so its a little hard to classify salt... normally i would say it could be lumped in with spices (kinda) but i use it enough in my cooking, its become more of a condiment for me... (hard to explain) as for the jacuzzi, i just hope its big enough for me to stretch out my legs... as for the humboldts, are they just that ugly, or mean too? maybe i better bring those brass tentacles....
 
WhiteKiboko said:
as for the jacuzzi, i just hope its big enough for me to stretch out my legs... as for the humboldts, are they just that ugly, or mean too? maybe i better bring those brass tentacles....

Since the Infamous Jacuzzi of Doom exists in cyberspace, it is unencumbered by the laws of physics and therefore can accommodate an unlimited number of wayward TONMOers and/or squid. Kinda like Dr. Who's "TARDIS", or a Möbius strip, or that poiuyt thingy they used to have in MAD Magazine.

IMHO Humboldts have very soulful eyes, so they're not that ugly. The jury is still out on whether they're mean or just inquisitive; the problem is that there's a fine line between groping and mauling (as any female who's been to a fraternity party can attest to). One documentary I saw portrayed them as herds of ravenous, aggressive monsters who will tear their living prey to pieces given the opportunity. And that's just the frat guys! The same is often said about Humboldts.

On the other hand, in an episode of ANIMAL PLANET's "Ultimate Animals" show, host Steve Leonard (Leonard, Irwin, O'Shea -- ever notice how many Antipodean naturalists are named Steve?) went on a nighttime dive to find out the truth about Humboldt squid. Shortly after he descended with his underwater lights on, a gang of Humboldts converged on him and started patting him down like airline security guards. At first he was terrified, but within a short time realized that they were just curious about his lights. He finally extricated himself from their grasp and got back to the boat, a little shaken but completely unharmed.

So I really don't know why Dosidicus gigas pay so much attention to us -- positive or negative. Maybe they see us as competitors for their food supply. Maybe they're just naturally inquisitive about other living things. Maybe we look attractive to them (I've read some articles about dolphins along these lines, but I'd better not go there.... :oops:)

In any case, just to be sure, the next time you dive into Humboldt territory take those brass tentacles with you -- along with a bottle of champagne, a dozen roses, and a box of imported bonbons (hey, ya never know!)
:heart: :glass: :heart: :wine: :heart: :squid: :heart: :snorkel: :heart:

:wink:
Me
 
TaningiaDanae said:
On the other hand, in an episode of ANIMAL PLANET's "Ultimate Animals" show, host Steve Leonard (Leonard, Irwin, O'Shea -- ever notice how many Antipodean naturalists are named Steve?)

In any case, just to be sure, the next time you dive into Humboldt territory take those brass tentacles with you -- along with a bottle of champagne, a dozen roses, and a box of imported bonbons (hey, ya never know!)
:heart: :glass: :heart: :wine: :heart: :squid: :heart: :snorkel: :heart:

:wink:
Me

i think the tv people like the accent and have an easier time marketing them if they can easily remember the name, hence the same name.... as for the gigas, i dont think dont think i need to have any infatuated molluscs groping me.....thats not what i mean when i say im an cephalopodaphile... although, maybe i could be friendly... do the humboldts have that ammonia bouyancy thing going on? if not... :twisted:
 
TaningiaDanae said:
there's a fine line between groping and mauling (as any female who's been to a fraternity party can attest to). One documentary I saw portrayed them as herds of ravenous, aggressive monsters who will tear their living prey to pieces given the opportunity. And that's just the frat guys! The same is often said about Humboldts.

OMG

You go, Tani! :roflmao:
 
no need to alienate the guys on that topic.... i hate getting groped at frat parties too... :smile: .. of course when youre almost a head taller than everyone else and a guy, it happens extremely rarely, but still quite an annoyance...afterall, that is why the great Cthulhu gave us the concept of "smash and slash" ( if you dont know what this is, go to a really sketchy dive on a saturday night and wait about 5min).....
 

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