A Rambling Cephalopod Narrative:

The voice of Nurse Rached.. whose patients included
Jack Nicholson and an Indian Chief, among others.
She smirked evily. "Dan, this is your doctor..."

Jaws.jpg
 
Jack woke up again, Damn that dream, it's going werider by the moment, ah well, he looked out the window and it was still dark. He sat on his bed for a few more minutes before going to fix himself breakfast, yep, his favourite breakfast beans, eggs, sausages, and an unhealthy dollop of sour cream: beans, eggs, sausages, and an unhealthy dollop of sour cream, that was his favourite...
 
Dan swallowed the rest of the glop, washing it down with a can of ale, damn the doctor's advice about eating well and avoiding too much alchohol... A glance at the mirror showed a bit of bulge forming above his beltline, but what was he supposed to look like? Some sort of super hero?
He hadn't been much of a hero a while ago...Eric had panicked and had hit the surface line feed, screaming about giant squid or something...the sub they had been in rocketed to the ocean top, and poor Eric's nose began gushing blood as the pressure changed...he never made it...
 
But he had other things to worry about...his nose was as bloody as Eric's and the pressure has caused the wound to burst and his shirt was already soaked. But he couldn't get to the surface since Eric broke the controls as he stumbled around before..he couldn't think of that moment, it came all too quick..he sat on the floor and began thinking who will find their sub....
 
So Dan startled himself awake one more time, the oxygen level in the sub had lowered and he found he had passed out briefly, dreaming of that horrendous breakfast of beans, eggs, sausages, with an unhealthy dollop of sour cream and found himself gazing at his buddy in the other sub holding up a sign that said.........
 
" Do you have anything to eat?" and just below, in well -calligraphed letters, "get me out of here!"
 
The sub pitched violently. A startled seagull flew straight into the plexiglass dome. The cabin was awash with sound. Bangs, screaching and scraping, keys tumbling in barrels, footsteps, whispering, clicks, unlocking deadbolts, gas axes, and grating.

As splattered guano, feather, beak and leg dribbled down the outside of the dome, Dan slumped in his chair within it. Dan and the gull passed out.
 
...soaring high over the cliff tops, the wind whistling in his ears, the gull was master of all he could see. Underneath him were the busy ledges where countless nests and hungry chicks sat gaping at their parents. Adults coming back from that long voyage, from out at sea where the fish can be found. He couldnt see his nest...

He had flown this area a million times before but this time something was different, a vague reality trying to dawn on him, a feeling that.... that...... that........... what is plexiglass?

The gull opened one eye, the pain washed over him and he passed out again.
 
Even though the waves were beating against the hull of the sub violently, Dan managed to struggle to the main hatch and pop the lock that held down the sealing mechanism...the fresh sea air helped revive him somewhat, but his head was still spinning.
Not more than two yards seperated him from the other minisub that had managed to grapple onto his as it lurched from the bottom in a cloud of silt...that subs hatch was also open, and in between huge gulps of fresh air, he could dimly see Greg doing something with a seagull...almost as if he was eating it ?
There was some moaning behind him in the darkness, perhaps Eric wasn't dead after all...Dan waved weakly to Greg, and yelled out, "
 
"hard to control myself!" Greg yelled back, but without much force...after a year of breathing canned air and eating not a lot more than canned beans (which makes for quite a combination), his vocal cords were rather hoarse.

" I didn't know it was your pet..." he mumbled as he munched on some bones and then spat them over the side. A wave splashed into his beaten sub and drenched him. " Hey, can we get up on board the ship before this old girl sinks?"

Dan shook his head...he had raised that gull from a hatchling, and it was always a good luck omen to see it cruising around his mast, like a miniature albatross...hell, that's why the ship had it's name!

"Oh, crikey, " gasped Greg..."What on god's green earth is that behind you?"
 
A string of depleted uranium bullets whizzed past Dan's face and roiled the water aft of the minisub. " I think I got him !" yelled Alberto, gleefully waving around an assault rifle (they had quite a collection on board, in case they ran into trouble).
The subs other access port opened up, and a bloody faced Eric glared up at Alberto, "Dangit! You almost hit me!"

"Eric, you are alright?" Dan asked incredulously..." I thought you were dead !"

Eric hawked out a clot of blood into the ocean, shaking his head..."Hey, is he actually eating a seagull?" Greg waved back as Alberto began lowering the cable hooked to the starboard winch, seagull leg firmly clutched in his hand as he attached the winch hook to the pintle. Eric shook his head again.
"Always wondered what they tasted like."
 
Eric wasn;t exactly smart, but he did hace a taste for exotic foods, hes eaten cat, dog, viperfish, tiger, bear claws, owls and rumors say that he liked raw lion thighs...Eric was slightly drooling when he saw a large blob with ink flowing out from a stick, Eric looked closer, it wasn't a stick, it was a Lance 4 harpoon. Alberto jumbed off the boat armed with one of Dan's SCUBA STORM. Alberto was closing in when he suddenly gave a blood curdling scream,' Holy Cow!! This is huge! Dan! Eric! Arm the SCUBA STORMS! This is one huge Humbolt!'
30 minutes later, Eric was scouting on the gunboat's rader tower and Dan was setting up laser triggered machine guns that would pulverise anythng that came within 40ft of the boat from the all sides. Alberto was cutting the squid up after recoding the beak and size, a whooping 59ft and 3 inches without stretching the dam thing! Eric's mentor ( Not Dan) was in the cabin reinforcing the hull with some wood and plastic foam.
Dan was the first to speak,'So the legends are true..humbolts can grow bigger than Ol'Archie.., I hate to imagine what O'l Arch and Messie will think of this fellow.....' He suddenly came to some sort of freaky conculsion that THIS IS where all the real mosters are, not NZ, not Antartica, but right here, Kraken Trench, no wonder its called Kraken..He god dam lives here! Eric must have seen his face go pale as he also replied,'So, you also thought about this..eh?' 'Yeh, mighty freaky when you think where you are at right now..'
Both of them fell slient, not noticing the wake left behind by the real monsters of the deep...
 

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