Groaners, the forum that will NEVER DIE

**DocidicusGigas** · Feb 01, '04, 2:30pm

No one has posted here fore more than 2 months!!!!
Okay, how bout this one:

So this diver goes into the ocean off China. He sees an undersea shop, so he goes in and sees a weird little bronze squid on the shelf. He asks the shopkeeper how much it costs. The shopkeeper tells him that it is $1000.05- five cents for the squid and a thousand bucks for the story. The diver tells the shopkeeper, "I'll take the squid, you can keep the story."
As the diver is swimming home, he sees a little squid jet up from the deep and swim alongside him, as close as he can get to the bronze squid. Then anotherone jest up, this one a firefly squid. Soon the huge form of an Architeuthis is rising behind him as he swims furiously for shore. He sees the shore, and grabs the squid. He throws it on shore, and the squids all jet ashore and die.
He comes back the next day.
"Ah yes," says the shopkeeper, "Now you want the story?"
"Nope," says the diver. "I just want to know if you have a bronze Republican."

**um...** · Feb 01, '04, 2:34pm

Shame on me for encouraging DosidicusGigas.

LOLcarol neil

**tonmo** · Feb 01, '04, 2:56pm

I'd be

too, but with a slghtly different ending...

Good one!

**DocidicusGigas** · Feb 01, '04, 3:09pm

Thanks.... it was originally a bronze rat, but I had to make it squiddish.

Anything to please you.

**ant** · Feb 07, '04, 5:04pm

Originally Posted by termite

And let us not forget Dick van Dux in SQUIDDY SQUIDDY BANG BANG!

How could I forget! No tomatoes, sent more spoofs! Wait, where were they all headed in that movie? My brain is inking...

I watched that in band 5 weeks ago (ccbb) I hated it

**ant** · Feb 07, '04, 5:06pm

How about the CALAMARI cruiser in star wars

**WhiteKiboko** · Feb 07, '04, 5:09pm

there's a Mon in front.... Mon Calamari

Did i give away the fact that im a quasi-geek?

**TaningiaDanae** · Feb 07, '04, 8:33pm

Originally Posted by WhiteKiboko

there's a Mon in front.... Mon Calamari

Hey Mon, would that be Bob Moncalamarley?

**um...** · Feb 07, '04, 8:35pm

Oh, how I've missed that stuff.

**ant** · Feb 07, '04, 8:41pm

No i think its calimari cruiser. Mon calimari is a planet

**ant** · Feb 07, '04, 8:48pm

ok so its mon its still has a calimari in it

**DocidicusGigas** · Feb 07, '04, 9:26pm

'Eya, mon, what's doin? You want buy a cigar?

Ya mon. We be JAMMIN'!

**tonmo** · Feb 12, '05, 6:35am

Wow, this was an awesome thread. Tani, come back!! Your fronds miss you!

**Steve O'Shea** · Jan 02, '06, 12:09am

.... it died

OB · Jan 02, '06, 9:20am

Not necessarily....

**tonmo** · Jan 02, '06, 9:44am

hibernated...

OB · Jan 02, '06, 9:57am

The Dead Thread Collector: Bring out yer dead threads.
[a man puts a TONMO thread on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Thread: Here's one.
The Dead Thread Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Thread Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Thread: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Thread Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Yes he is.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Thread Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Thread: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Thread Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Thread Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Thread Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Thread Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Thread Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Thread: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Thread That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Thread Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Thread with a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Thread: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Thread Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Right.