Ok, so the joke needs some work... check out my edit. By the way, how many physicists do you know who would actually walk in the ocean? Wouldn't they just figure out some formula in the safety of their lab?
Ok, so the joke needs some work... check out my edit. By the way, how many physicists do you know who would actually walk in the ocean? Wouldn't they just figure out some formula in the safety of their lab?
The only physicists i've ever know worked on the theroethical side of the discipline, which according to my observations, involved them wandering around doing whatever they felt.....
Maybe I won't be so cynical if any of them publish. Ever.
Let's be honest, the Daleks have the proper outlook on the future.
Originally posted by White Kiboko
Maybe I won't be so cynical if any of them publish. Ever.
Glad you liked it, though the delivery wasn't quite mine, a bit more akin to the style of Um or Clem.....
Maybe i'm coming down with something:
"You look a little peaked. Are you ok?"
"Eh, It's nothing. Just feeling tad Clemish."
Let's be honest, the Daleks have the proper outlook on the future.
Actually I thought it was more Gregish...
BLASPHEMY!!!!
ps- Greg:
Let's be honest, the Daleks have the proper outlook on the future.
Oh no...when you are feeling "gregish" you will know by the colour of the slivey toves, and you will go from mimsy to outgrabe in the space of five parsecs.
:)
A physicist would be likely to use some sort of a boat. Archimedes rules! (Ruled!)
My Martian vacation was very relaxing.
The owl?
My classmates recently held an online discussion of jokes. Granted, we're all kind of nerdy science students, but I still think they are pretty funny. They're mainly science jokes, but I figure this is a scientific forum, and therefore enough people on here should get them to make it enjoyable.
Q: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
A: Nothing, you can’t cross a scalar with a vector
(I remember that math lesson)
Math teachers don't die, they reduce to lowest terms.
Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands peanut butter side down. Based on these axioms, a cat with peanut butter toast strapped to its back will therefore hover above the ground in a state of quantum indecision.
(Would love to see that!)
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron".
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
(Ah, so many chemistry jokes!)
Two antennas get married. The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
If both a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska fall into the water
which one disolves faster?
The one in Alaska because it is Polar
What is this molecule: H3NCONH3?
Urea.
What is this molecule: H3NCONH2-H2NCONH3?
Diurea!!!
Alas for Little Willy
We'll not see Willy more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
(Who can say no to a joke that rhymes?)
What did the psychologist do after she had twins?
She baptized one, and kept the other as a control.
(You may need to have taken a psyc course to appreciate this)
How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down it's genes
What's a pirate's favorite amino acid?
Arrrrrrrrginine. (For those pirates on the boards)
And finally, something slightly different:
There are two sausages in a frying pan. One says "Man, it's hot in here!" and the other replies "HOLY CRAP A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
Cheers!
It ain't easy being green...
Q: What's up?
A: Right cross forward!
Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape
Miskatonic University Marine Biology and Esoteric Studies Laboratory
Originally Posted by tonmo
I dedicate this Colossal Squid to Neil Diamond
Well, I'm having fun, anyway
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
Isaac Asimov
A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and has a few beers, then asks for the bill. The bartender says, 'For you? No charge!'
Loved the antennas, Jesse.
Baby gonatids
Born like stars; if only our
Offspring did the same...
oh noooo!
Here's some, I don't know if they've been said before, but I'm too afraid to plough through the depths of this thread... I fear for my sanity:
What's tthe most common type of owl? the teat-owl (tea-towel)
why did the owl 'owl? 'cause the woodpecker would peck 'er... That's a flaming awful one.
Two cow in a field, and one says to the other "mooo", the other says "Oi, cheeky git, I was going to say that!"
"An unknown masked robber stole all the toilets in the local constabulary, after a week of investigations, the police still have nothing to go on"
I have loads more but a lot of them are visual, like "what's this? (slide palm of hand past ear while saying "vroom!"), an engine-ear... what's this? (same again but wave and say "hi" before) a Civil engine-ear"
A piece of string goes into a bar, and the bartender refuses him, saying that they can't serve string, so next day he ties a knot in his midriff and goes back to the bar
"oi, can't serve you sunny"
"how so?"
"you're a piece of string aren't you!?"
"no, I'm a frayed knot" (afraid not)
in the words of Fozzie bear, wakka wakka wakkaaaaa
Graeme
"There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion" - Edgar Allan Poe
“In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.”
Baba Dioum
Anyone remember the Chemisty"Bond" jokes?
"Pointfully" digging up old threads and making comments.
Graeme, those are worse than groaners....I don't know if word exists to describe just how BAD those are............
Guys, guys!! These are supposed to be cephalopod jokes!! The jokes you are telling here have nothing to do with cephs, and that just doesn't make any senescence.
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Ok, ok, ok
Where do you find a down and out octopus?
On squid row...
oh noooo!
Here's some, I don't know if they've been said before, but I'm too afraid to plough through the depths of this thread... I fear for my sanity:
What's tthe most common type of owl? the teat-owl (tea-towel)
why did the owl 'owl? 'cause the woodpecker would peck 'er... That's a flaming awful one.
Two cow in a field, and one says to the other "mooo", the other says "Oi, cheeky git, I was going to say that!"
"An unknown masked robber stole all the toilets in the local constabulary, after a week of investigations, the police still have nothing to go on"
I have loads more but a lot of them are visual, like "what's this? (slide palm of hand past ear while saying "vroom!"), an engine-ear... what's this? (same again but wave and say "hi" before) a Civil engine-ear"
A piece of string goes into a bar, and the bartender refuses him, saying that they can't serve string, so next day he ties a knot in his midriff and goes back to the bar
"oi, can't serve you sunny"
"how so?"
"you're a piece of string aren't you!?"
"no, I'm a frayed knot" (afraid not)
in the words of Fozzie bear, wakka wakka wakkaaaaa[Graeme
<begins organising angry torch-wielding mob>
that is not dead which can eternal lie
in strange aeons even death may die
Brought to you by
Miska* Tonic water
*bottled from the bubbling springs under Arkham Mass.
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