In my neverending search for media squiddage, I was surprised to see that nobody has yet mentioned the 1997 s.f. film THE FIFTH ELEMENT. One of the characters featured is Diva Plavalaguna -- a tall, beautiful, mysterious blue alien singer with an abundance of tentacles in some very odd places. In a memorable musical segment of the film, Plavalaguna delivers a spectacular rendition of an aria from Donizetti's LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR, followed by a weird but thrilling disco-classical synthesis listed in the credits as the "Diva Dance".

The Diva -- who has few spoken lines -- is portrayed and lip-sync'd by French actress Maïwenn Le Besco, but the singing is dubbed by award-winning Albanian soprano Inva Mula-Tchako (who IMHO deserves most of the credit for the role, along with the makeup artists who created the alien beauty's look).

Most of the online pics of the character are hard-to-see thumbnails, but I managed to find one good, full-sized one:

http://movieweb.com/movie/5thelement/coa.jpg

While you can't see them in this photo, Diva Plavalaguna's tentacles also extend from the back of her head as well as down her back, and her fingers are exaggeratedly long and graceful so as to suggest tentacles also.

THE FIFTH ELEMENT itself can't decide whether it wants to be a serious s.f. story or a comedy, but it has many things going for it: Along with the tentacled Diva, it features a bizarre but sweet Milla Jovovich as the Supreme Being (yes, you heard that right), a maniacally funny Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod (a not-so-subtle takeoff on the-artist-formerly-known-as-The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince), and Gary Oldman as a quintessential bad guy. On the negative side, it has Bruce Willis as the hero (can't stand him, never could and never will, with the possible exception of THE SIXTH SENSE). Lots of fun and worth renting, anyway.

Your were-squid in the balcony :popcorn:
Tani

i LOVE that movie....im just mad i never thought of the diva as squid-ish... gary oldman is too funny as "jean..baptiste..emmanuel....zorg" like a hitler with a limp and a southern accent after someone stuck half an "icee" lid on his head.... it is scifi, but definitely not too serious....


a good :popcorn: movie (even without much cephfluence)


:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

i LOVE that movie....im just mad i never thought of the diva as squid-ish... gary oldman is too funny as "jean..baptiste..emmanuel....zorg" like a hitler with a limp and a southern accent after someone stuck half an "icee" lid on his head.... it is scifi, but definitely not too serious....

a good :popcorn: movie (even without much cephfluence)


:lol: Perfect description of Zorg! And let's not forget the squished elephant Beanie Baby that lived in his drawer and refused to save him when he was choking.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed 5E. I know it got very mixed reviews, but I seldom listen to critics -- e.g., I am also one of the three or four people in the solar system who actually enjoyed the Dino De Horrendous version of DUNE. (I liked the Sci-Fi Channel miniseries too, though the guy they got to play Paul Muad'Dib was chopped liver compared to Kyle MacLachlan.)

You are hereby forgiven for not noticing Diva Plavalaguna's squidliness. However, as penance, you must sit through an intermission-free screening of BEAST without making a single snide remark about how incredibly stupid it is.

:jester: :squid:
Me

You are hereby forgiven for not noticing Diva Plavalaguna's squidliness. However, as penance, you must sit through an intermission-free screening of BEAST without making a single snide remark about how incredibly stupid it is.


fine with me...only if you can watch Tentacles without thinking "why am i watching this?" or "i need a :beer:"....i dont have a copy of the movie...should i just reread the book?

everytime i watch 5th El. with my partner-in-crime, for the next few hours i can count on her repeating "bada biiiiig boom" and "MUL ti pass" several times....

i tried to watch the original dune but could never get more than a few minutes in... i did like the scifi one but the guy playing paul was almost more luke skywalker than luke skywalker (whiney)

this is irrelevent, but what is wrong with luc besson? married milla jovovich then divorced her?


:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

As long as she doesn't use your computer keyboard while eating "chee-ken" with her hands. :P

Agreed about the Sci-Fi Channel's Muad'Dib -- his entire emotional range consisted of "bored" and "irritated". I guess part of the reason I don't mind sitting through the original DUNE is watching Kyle in his tight stillsuit (it's a chick thing :wink: ) -- though he is a fine actor in his own right (Kyle was also the main reason I watched TWIN PEAKS, at least for the first few episodes before it became completely incomprehensible).

"Good cuppa joe, Agent Cooper...." [no coffee emoticon?]

cheeken good....

Squid better..... :twisted:


:meso: :beer:

Oh, and what about Bib Fortuna from "Return of the Jedi"? He had two tentacles jutting outta his head!

(P.S.: Notice that I didn't say "Episode 6"? Let's keep it that way... :x ... Not that I haven't become completely jaded by Star Wars lately...)

Sushi and the Fifth Element,

John

i thought about that, but between her elongated head and 12 tentacles (6 on head, 4 upper back, 2 lower) and his two, she's a little more squidish... but he does get honorable mention.....

HO HO HO HO HO HAAAAAAAA (a la Jabba)

:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

5th Element - wonderful movie and I don't believe I have any friends who do not like it; this says good things about my friends. Dune - there were some really great parts in that movie and I loved it as a kid but I really love the books (all except god emperor of dune) and I felt that it was missing something. On the other hand, the stillsuits were just as I had imagined them (unlike the miniseries) and I seem to remember the Guild Navigator as being pretty Cuttle-esque. (Just watched the second SciFi miniseries a couple of days ago, actually, and enjoyed that) In Star Wars, well, let's see. Admiral Akbar of course, and the Mon Calamari are obviously squiddish, there's a character whose actual name I can't recall but who is called "Squid Head" in the action figure series, and that tentacly sycophant of Jabba's...

oh noooooooooooooooooooo :heee:
this thread is gonna leave me hoisted by my own pitard!!!!!!!

The squid head in ROTJ was a Quarren, also from Mon Calamari called Tessek

Bib Fortuna was a Twi'lek from Ryloth :sun:

Another Twi'lek was Ooola who got scranned in the Rancor's pit in ROTJ. :snorkel:

And they added some more Twi'leks in ep I and II
:tentacle:


milla jovovich??????? Yes I too would divorce her in a heartbeat! http://www.cinema-stars.com/milla/imageHtms/7.htm obviously all men find her quite unattractive :P

Oh yeah, Colin? Well, I demand equal time for You-Know-Who (and I don't mean :spongebo: ):

http://www.movieforum.com/people/actors/alanrickman/alanrickman.shtml

Tony, please edit URL to fit.... and while you're at it, could you please do a search for the bottom half of that photo?

"Bad Tani! Bad, Bad, Bad Tani!" :wink:

well, you know what they say about men with big noses!!!!?????






They can smell things from further away

Tony, please edit URL to fit.... and while you're at it, could you please do a search for the bottom half of that photo?
Sure, I found the full photo. But I'm afraid it might not be what you had in mind... :wink:

:goofysca: :goofysca: :goofysca:

....what is going on here?

.... is he that fellow in Die Hard 1? Is this the infamous Alan Rickman that we keep hearing about??

yup, he is the die hard villian.... if tani is so interested in the lower half of mister rickman, you should see if you can find a picture from the beginning half of Dogma.... :)

:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

Haha!
I have found that picture, and I know exactly why you mentioned it!
I have saved it, ready for posting, but don't know if I am allowed...there are trousers unfastened and at a lower level than normally worn... :!:

Please Advise!

Anyway, I preferred him in Robin Hood, prince of ridiculous haircuts, totally stole the film, an excellent Sheriff of Nottingham, even Phil may agree with me for once.

Moog
Temporarily in Chicago

uhhhhhhh.... sounds like you can email that directly to Tani, I don't think anyone else here will be disappointed... :D :police:

at the time he's saying: See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. "

yup, he is the die hard villian.... if tani is so interested in the lower half of mister rickman, you should see if you can find a picture from the beginning half of Dogma.... :)

:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

Tony: :roflmao: Good one! Sadistic, but funny.

Kiboko: Nice try Big Guy, but I saw DOGMA and you're not fooling me one bit! "Anatomically incorrect as a Ken doll," indeed!

http://www.chantico.com/alanrickman/films/dogma.shtml

(scroll down to fifth picture)

There is, however, something to be said for a 10 ft. wingspan....

:mrgreen:

I don't believe it -- apparently at least four of us posted replies to that simultaneously. Is this a sign that longtime TONMO members acquire telepathic powers?

yup, he is the die hard villian.... if tani is so interested in the lower half of mister rickman, you should see if you can find a picture from the beginning half of Dogma.... :)

SNOOTCH TO THE NOOTCH, BONG!

:heee:

Er... or maybe Professor Snape? :mrgreen:

Sushi, Sake, and a Mooby-Size drink, (and a Chocolate frog for dessert)

Silent John :sly:

Er... or maybe Professor Snape? :mrgreen:

Sushi, Sake, and a Mooby-Size drink, (and a Chocolate frog for dessert)

Silent John :sly:

Mmmmm, Sexy Severus.... :heart: As a matter of fact, HP/SS was the film that got me started on the whole AR thing. The moment he strode like a panther into Potions Class and began that now-famous monologue ("There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations...."), I was hooked. No one else -- with the exception of Bela Lugosi -- could wear those flowing black robes and cape, and appear as though he'd been born in them. Add to that Alan's incomparable voice, penetrating eyes, seductively sinister curled lip, and hypnotically graceful hands, and you've got Gothic Droolbait With A Vengeance. :wink:

http://yacht.zamok.net/DV/Potter/Posters/Snape/snape_elb.jpg

At first I thought I was the only one -- then I did a netsearch and discovered literally thousands of other female (and several male) Rickmaniacs on the web. And BTW if you think I'm a Rickman bore, you oughta hear some of those groupies gushing! (One, for example, had a sig that said, "God spent just a little more time on ALAN RICKMAN" [emphasis hers])

Now one of my ongoing "projects" is to see every film Alan ever made, including the crappy ones (e.g., MESMER was reputed to be particularly atrocious). I even rented and sat through DIEHARD for him, which is saying a lot considering my opinion of Bruce Willis (see under the "Tall, Beautiful, Blue...." thread). I found out Alan even did a guest voiceover on an episode of KING OF THE HILL about a Renaissance Faire -- I caught just the last few minutes of it, and am now kicking myself because as far as I know they haven't re-run it yet.

BTW, Steve-O', I trust that the above is an adequate response to your earlier query. ("Is this the infamous Alan Rickman that we keep hearing about??"). Now, aren't you sorry you asked? :P

Happy Triskaidekaphobia Day,
Tani Rickmani

with the exception of Bela Lugosi -- could wear those flowing black robes and cape, and appear as though he'd been born in them.

if you start claiming to be a fan of 'plan 9 from outer space' i might have to condemn you to your own cyber hottub.... :)

if you start claiming to be a fan of 'plan 9 from outer space' i might have to condemn you to your own cyber hottub.... :)

[TD obligingly climbs into Solitary Confinement Jacuzzi]

Ahem.... as a matter of fact, Edward D. Wood was a true cinematic genius. Unfortunately, nobody knew it except Edward D. Wood.

PLAN 9 was a hoot, but EDW's real masterpiece was the lesser-known GLEN OR GLENDA, the touching story of a man, a woman, and a fluffy angora sweater. It opens with Bela delivering a gripping and completely incomprehensible monologue, against a background of stampeding something-or-other (buffalos? horses? axolotls? I don't remember). In GOG, of course, Bela was really played by Bela, as opposed to PLAN 9 where he died before the film was completed, so they replaced him with a guy who was a full head taller and had a different hair color. (Artistic license?)

Also recommended is the biopic ED WOOD -- with Johnny Depp at his quirky best -- based on the book NIGHTMARE OF ECSTASY, which is absolutely amazing. The really freaky thing is that when you see ED WOOD, you think, "Naah, this has got to be exaggerated." Then you read the book and realize that in fact Wood and his entourage were even wilder and weirder than in the Depp film.

"Pool dee string! Pool dee string!"

:mrgreen:

Ahhhhhhhhh Johnny Depp, there is a man I can get a little crazy about. Senor Rickman does have that mezmerizing voice, but I would venture to state IMHO that Mr Depp has far better taste in the films he chooses to appear in (with the very possible exception of that soon to be released pirate movie) and all sorts of charm. Sorry this is a bit off topic, but I get a little excited when I hear his name
*sigh*
:heart:

Tani, I foresee movie nights for us featuring Ed Wood, other kitschy monster movies and the cocktails of your choice! Even if that's Lithographette's Zima! Attack of the Crab Monsters, featuring the shoes of the people moving the crab monsters, is my idea of Hollywood cinematic excellence. I can't think of many ceph-y movies right now, so I'll rent the Simpsons or Futurama episodes too!

:popcorn: :cthulhu: :beer: :tentacle: :glass:
Join us if you're near NYC!

Melissa

Ahhhhhhhhh Johnny Depp, there is a man I can get a little crazy about. Senor Rickman does have that mezmerizing voice, but I would venture to state IMHO that Mr Depp has far better taste in the films he chooses to appear in (with the very possible exception of that soon to be released pirate movie) and all sorts of charm. Sorry this is a bit off topic, but I get a little excited when I hear his name
*sigh*
:heart:

Welcome back, Lith --

High Octane Eye Candy, that Johnny Depp! :wink: I never watched 21 JUMP STREET, so the first time I saw him was in EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, which will always be a five-handkerchief movie for me. (I've got a weakness for "misunderstood outsider" films, fact or fiction -- e.g., THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH, THE ELEPHANT MAN, MASK [with Eric Stoltz, not Jim Carrey], BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, POWDER, SPIDERMAN, all the way back to THE BOY WITH THE GREEN HAIR.) IMHO, JD's image is similar to Kyle MacLachlan's -- handsome, noble, well-intentioned, intelligent but naïve, and somehow always alienated from the mainstream.

Regarding JD's choice of films: I don't know whether he's had better luck with that than AR. From what I heard, FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS was pretty stinky. BLOW got mixed reviews -- though oddly enough there was a consensus that :!: :?: Paul Reubens :?: :!: gave an Oscar-worthy performance as "Derek Foreal"! I saw FROM HELL and JD did an excellent job in it, but the film itself was overblown. (Maybe I can't be objective about that, because I get really pissed-off when people blame all the problems of the world on the Freemasons.)

On the other hand, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, ED WOOD, and SLEEPY HOLLOW were all exceptional! The only negative thing I can say about the latter is that it took an enormous number of liberties with Washington Irving's story -- not the least of which was transforming Ichabod Crane from a dull, homely schoolmaster to a handsome, brilliant constable. Nevertheless, Tim Burton made his broad interpretation of the story work superbly -- and BTW Christopher Walken, without speaking a word, was the scariest damn Headless Horseman I've ever seen.

So yeah, Johnny Depp.... nice! :heart:

Say, I hope we're not driving the guys away with all this fannish drooling.... maybe we'd better take this discussion to the Members-Only Board, before they retaliate by starting their own thread about Milla, Gwyneth, Liv, Halle, Drew, J. Lo, Catherine, Renée, etc.

Tani, I foresee movie nights for us featuring Ed Wood, other kitschy monster movies and the cocktails of your choice! Even if that's Lithographette's Zima! Attack of the Crab Monsters, featuring the shoes of the people moving the crab monsters, is my idea of Hollywood cinematic excellence. I can't think of many ceph-y movies right now, so I'll rent the Simpsons or Futurama episodes too!

:popcorn: :cthulhu: :beer: :tentacle: :glass:
Join us if you're near NYC!

Melissa

Hey Melissa --

You're on! PM or e-mail me and we'll try to set up another Aquarium trip, dinner, and/or golden turkey cinema nite. I haven't seen CRAB MONSTERS but it definitely sounds awful enough to qualify. (Reminds me of a Japanese flick -- I think it was DESTROY ALL MONSTERS -- that featured a "jumbo shrimp" named Ebirah.)

I never had Zima, but I believe I could handle it. Back in the pre-Cambrian when I was a teen, the drinking age here was 18 and we were all weaned on high-class apéritifs like Boone's Farm Apple Wine and Pagan Pink Ripple (about $1.98 a gallon each). How my liver made it through the late '60s / early '70s, is still one of the great mysteries of the cosmos....

Ditto to Melissa's invite -- if you're a TONMOer in good standing and plan to be in the NYC area, send one or both of us a PM, and if our schedules permit we'll all try to get together for a day.

Squidly salutations,
The Tanster

Destroy All Monsters is a classic.... talking with my dad at dinner one night, he was impressed that boones farm is still around.... given its main demographics, i dont know why he was surprised :)


:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

Destroy All Monsters is a classic.... talking with my dad at dinner one night, he was impressed that boones farm is still around.... given its main demographics, i dont know why he was surprised :)


:cthulhu: :heart: :beer:

And, uh, would those demographics just happen to overlap with the subset of JERRY SPRINGER SHOW guests and/or studio audience members?

[Tomorrow on SPRINGER: "My Pet Bimac is an Inbred Crossdressing Nazi Ho"]