Inspired by this thread (http://www.tonmo.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=451). :)

Ashes? Why not be more direct and skip cremation? I said yes.

I recall hearing something about humans and other beasties floating back up, and that the precautions to take to prevent this include puncturing the lungs and abdomen. Gruesome.

Mesonychoteuthis and others with sharp shredders and teeth would seem to have no trouble disposing of human flesh, but would we be palatable? Do they have parts that could be loosely analogous to palates?

Melissa

I'm going for the "push my corpse out to sea in a flaming longboat" method of burial. :jester:

ehh.... its still ashes in the sea..... at least im not the only person who has delusions of immortality.....

im going to have one cell preserved (youve more chance of ressurection having one cell frozen than your entire bosy, as freezing entire body kills all cells and shatters DNA; one cell doesnt) and then im going to have my body thrown out of a plan over new york or tokyo.


what a satisfying way to be disposed of

:bonk:

I kid you not:

When I die, I have given instructions that my ashes are to be mixed into a concrete cylinder that could serve as an octopus habitat and sumberged at my favorite dive site, with the following poem engraved into it:

" Found at Sea "

If I should die beneath the sea --
What e'er the circumstance may be --
I only ask that you not cry
For such a lucky one as I.

But, rather, weep for those alive
Who know not what it is to dive
Into the planet's liquid heart
And of God's ocean be a part.

For even Christ must envy all
Who stroll along the ocean's wall;
Though wind and sea His will obeys,
He only walked upon the waves.

And may I ask for one thing more?
A simple cross beside the shore.
Below my name inscribe for me:
Lost to the earth, but found at sea.

Carson Ray... 1989

If you don't dive, learn to. Soon. The biggest tragedy of my life was that I waited 35 years to explore the oceans of the world, up close and personal. It's the most significant thing I have ever done.

I think I will be Coyote bait, out in a patch of Prickly Pear somewhere.

I intend to go the ashes > aquatic route but had only thought about some favorite lakes so far; perhaps a portion ought to go out to the Big Blue as well. Hmmm... hope I've got a little time to mull this one over... ;)

Some of mine I plan to be scattered at the resting place of my deceased girlfriend, the rest go to the ocean. My friends and family have explicit instructions!

I'd like my body to undergo "plastinization," and be placed in the Smithsonian alongside that institution's specimens of A. dux and T. Danae, providing the youth of future generations with a sobering reminder of what can happen when you spend too much time thinking about giant squid.

Nope. Keep walking. Staying out of this one.

:goofysca:

Clem (pre-polymer)

I've thought about being turned into chum to feed the dosidicus in the Sea of Cortez. They're so darned cute.

Did anyone know that the ashes are potenially leathal to fish even in small amounts? ( Excuse my spelling.)

I voted to opt for the ocean but with the following addendum: I made a pact with my boyfriend, Taco the Octopus Chef Guy that when the time comes, we will die together. He suggested it when I told him that I get cold easily. When I sought to protest, he said, "Nothing like eight arms to hold you when your warm blood stops, darlin'."

atticus finch 8-)

That's soooo romantic! He really is a great chef.

Yep, and he toild me on his interview that he was a elpful person, last time I was buying my groceries, he offered me a hand..hand..hand..hand..hand..hand..but he didn't go far because he was suppose to buy a new bucket. :lol:

Yes, a good chef..so good that 'Iron Chef' invited him to compete.
We were chuffed until we saw a show in which chefs chopped off
the arms of live squid to make dishes..They were still moving..:cry:

FYI: he's asked me to marry him (I said 'yes') If I'd been the man
and he the woman, I'd have had to buy him 8 engagement rings.

My new name will be Mrs. atticus finch Taco the Octopus Chef Guy.
Do you think it's a bit much to write on watery envelopes? ~ a.f.

That part where he chopped of the arms off live squids sounds very good, now, the dish would be very fresh. :lol: Live octo arms without cooking are even better ( THey have to be fresh enough to see the octo moving or there would be bacteria in the arms)

I said yes, but would rather not be creamated nor any chemical put into me. I'd rather be fish food than worm food...put the body to good use. Plus maybe my skull could be a future little octos home?? Sounds morbid but heck, why not...as long as it wouldn't harm the ecology, that would be my only concern.

I want my body to be dropped from a helicopter into an erupting volcano.

Kablooie.

I want my body to be dropped from a helicopter into an erupting volcano.

Kablooie.


I wouldn't want it any other way. :wink:

I said yes, but would rather not be creamated nor any chemical put into me. I'd rather be fish food than worm food...put the body to good use. Plus maybe my skull could be a future little octos home?? Sounds morbid but heck, why not...as long as it wouldn't harm the ecology, that would be my only concern.

Good choice, the real world IS morbid.

I voted yes, but with this provision. I like ocean part, but I would rather be shark bait. Maybe then they will learn to appreciate human flesh and help weed out a little more of the population. :razz:

I like that. I'm not sure what timing you had in mind, but I'd prefer to be torn apart by a shark (or huge squid) a short time before my projected expiration date, if such a thing could be arranged. I'd want the event to be studied in excrutiating detail, too. Crittercam, perhaps?

:angel:

I think I will be encased in Carbonite like HAn Solo..

Wow, Um... I said I wanted to be turned into chum for my pals the dosidicus after I die, but your idea sounds even better! Pay-Per-View, perhaps?

Of course, another part of me wants a big cairn or kurgan in some exceedingly remote location, with various false entrances and a secret actual one. My retainers would all be entombed with me, as would the burial detail, everybody who knows the location (not including Rebecca - wouldn't want a Hungarian seeking revenge on me for all eternity), etc. It would all be lethally booby-trapped, have tar pits, trapdoors, poison darts, and at the center I'd be seated on a throne in Cthulhoid-looking armour with a big sword. Seated on my lap would be the teddy-octopus, Octavius, that my mother made for me when I was six. Of course, I'd make sure people would spread all kinds of rumors about treasures beyond imagining in there with me, but that would just be a big burn to lure in the gullible. The only real treasure would be my teddy-octo. Elaborate, cute, overly-sentimental and sick, all at the same time.

Maybe the chum idea is more practical... certainly less expensive. :cthulhu:

Heck, a would go in to your tomb just for the teddo-octo...sounds like a treasure.... :shock:

Inform me before you turn into a rotting carcass.

Nawww, I just thought about contractors' fees, zoning permits, all that stuff. Too much hassle. Just throw me to the dosidicus.

what about the teddy octo?

Octavius stays in my family. :octopus:

darn...

or maby freez me and throw me in the ocean just so my body washes up an shour and scares ecery one ha ha :lol: :lol: just kidding I might be frozen so later in the futuer they can bring me back to life

just freeze my brain, the body needs to be repaired anyway.

Bit of a grim story this, but worth a tale or two. This is absolutely true as it happened to an aquaintance of an old friend of mine.

Many years ago in the early nineties when I was working as an archaeologist, one of my colleagues in London told me that a couple of years earlier he had been working on a Victorian cemetary site in another area of London. Back then richer people tended to be buried in lead coffins. If very well made the lid of the coffin could form a perfect seal with the lower half, this means that gasses from the decomposition of the body can be trapped within the coffin and unable to escape, or the body itself able to dissolve into the soil.

Anyway, during the excavation of the cemetary one of the workers was hammering the ground with his mattock and hit the lid of one of these lead coffins that lay just under the surface and couldn't be seen. The pressure burst in the coffin and he got showered with a splurt of gasses and liquid human remains. He was rushed taken to hospital for a number of jabs and anti-biotics.

In another cemetary my ex-boss worked on the humidity and temperature conditions were quite different and the decomposition effects on the corpses was also quite different. Instead of liquifying the bodies became somewhat dried out and mummified. He told me that just before lunch they had hauled a lead coffin out of the ground and propped it up vertically by the site hut with the lid removed. After coming back from lunch, doubtless at the local pub, the body had slid out and was lying on the ground. It was covered in flies, the thing being so ripe for putrifaction, and one could literally see the body turning green in front of their eyes.

Nice....they never show this sort of thing on 'Time Team'.

After coming back from ... the local pub, the body had slid out and was lying on the ground.

Crazy besotted Victorian zombies. Kinda reminds me of my own situation last Friday night...

It was covered in flies, the thing being so ripe for putrifaction, and one could literally see the body turning green in front of their eyes.

Yes, and that was exactly like Saturday morning.

:shock: :yuck:

I want my ashes to become part of a coral reef somwhere. it's by no means cheap, I guess bankrupcy is an option...when your dead. But I haven't met Steve O'Shea yet, so I'm not goin' anywhere!!!!

It might also be nice to have my corpse get passed along from person to person, all over the world, for various photos in front of famous attractions! It might be more comical without any preservative measures taken, or if I could be rigged to pop up from behind objects unexpectedly to scare tourists. Just for laughs.

But I haven't met Steve O'Shea yet, so I'm not goin' anywhere!!!!

Heavens, Rona. Please don't go anywhere, yet.

I'd not checked this thread out before ... got a wee shock to see what it was all about. Morbid indeed.

Years ago I'd have said I'd have wanted to be preserved in my collection of marine invertebrates, keeping a watchful eye over museum collections I'd laboured over and developed for quite a few years. Then a very dear friend died, was cremated, and had his ashes spread through one of our favourite dive spots. A rather weird thing happened ~ 6 months ago, almost to the day, 10 years to the day after the death, and I'd gone for a dive with TTF in that very spot (that I hadn't visited since his death) - and the entire thing was unplanned.

I'd always needed a place to go and talk to him, so did so anywhere and anytime I had chosen to. Nevertheless, I'd still wanted a site where I could go and visit him physically, and being cremated I felt deprived of that opportunity. It was tough (and still is).

I'm afraid that cremation is out of the question for me. I don't want to be spread about by the oceans, agitated here and there, of no fixed abode, even though I'm happy out there. I'd actually like to rest, and would sooner be buried. Sure thing in years to come I'll be moved from my resting place (given competing demands on space), but I'll be right there, easy to locate, should anyone ever want to come and chat to me. It's important for the living, and I think I'll be listening in, as there are a few people out there that I'd like to keep in touch with.

Hmmmm. Heavy stuff.

To sea or to be buried....hmmm always said the sea but if this wasnt possible have to be buried.... I would haunt those that had me cremated if i was....too scary seein James Bond in that coffin with all the flames!!!

That would be in Diamonds Are Forever. There are repeated coffin/funereal references in the Bond films that weren't in the original Ian Fleming novels. Producer Albert R.Broccoli had been an undertaker's assistant earlier in his life and it showed in the films.

After various fantastical ideas I've posted here, and then reading the post above by :oshea: , I'll be serious for a moment and mention that I would like to be buried in a lovely cemetery quite close to where I live right now. It's a place that both Rebecca and I enjoy visiting, with a pond, beautiful mausoleums, and a lot of history.

I know this is just a random poll but I think i would go the Heinlein route. his ashes were scattered at sea but there is a movement to place a jar of seawater-- with his name written on a used oxy cannister tag (read REQUIEM)-- on the moon for him.

i want to be cut into skinny strips and be trolled behind a sportfishing boat for some billfish

beats being worm food.

pirates are way cooler than ninjas

I want to be buried at sea, bugger the cremation, I'm going to be part of the food-web. I want to be tasty fish (or ceph)-food. I shall live on through the animals that digest me...

Not me...I plan on being encrypted and ressurected as an all powerful Lich in two or three hundred years (when the stars are right).

Not me...I plan on being encrypted and ressurected as an all powerful Lich in two or three hundred years (when the stars are right).

Its always about the stars, isn't it? :twisted:


I dunno what to think at the moment. I used to want to be cremated, to conserve space, but then I was doing some reading and came across a very good point. Do you want your final act on this earth to be one which puts further pollutants into the atmosphere? (of course not all will agree with that wording given the diverse beliefs out there)

Instead, I found this website that hand makes and sells bio-degradable coffins that you can be buried in. You can think of them as cardboard, though much better supported. When you order them you can ask for specific designs or motifs on them. I think its really cool, plus then you still decompose and truly become one with nature again. I would like to some how be incorperated into a marine environment, but as that is not yet possible ("legal") I'll settle for this. All I need now is a nice plot in the forest...

Cheers!

"the worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out..."


I can hardly wait to rule the known world.

Do you want your final act on this earth to be one which puts further pollutants into the atmosphere?Cheers!

I rest my case.

Attach any number of cameras to my corpse and dangle me at the dark cold bottom of the sea...and see who comes for a bite!

Great idea....I'll also sign up for the "Dangle me in the ocean with a camera to see what will eat me" plan when I die.

I think I'll go the david cross route. Once I'm dead you can do whatever you want wit my body as I won't be using it anymore. sell it to a necrophilliac for all i care .

I want to be a zombie! Then I can walk slowly around and nobody can stop me!

I want to be a zombie! Then I can walk slowly around and nobody can stop me!

the modern zombie gets to run fast instead of just shuffling around mumbling about BRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSSS

Dawn of the Dead, correct?

Or maybe like "Chopper Chicks in Zombietown" you could walk around singing "Sorry to eat and run" (my husband wrote the music).

I shall be cremated, and then the ashes will be used as an ingredient in making some cement in order to make one of those "artificial coral formations" thet're using to repair damaged reefs.

With any luck, I'll come back as something more than when I left. Hopefully I'll come back as a Giant sea turtle!

I shall be cremated, and then the ashes will be used as an ingredient in making some cement in order to make one of those "artificial coral formations" thet're using to repair damaged reefs.

hmm...Or maybe I should hook my brain up to a machine? Decisions, decisions...

Perhaps my remains can be cremated and distilled along with squid ink into a heavy microbrew, to produce a few cases of something called tonmo's Last Stand. 7.3% alcohol by volume sounds about right.

I wouldn't drink you, Tony. All due respect though.

If it would taste anything like the old socks extract sold as Ireland's national pasttime, I would likewise tip my hat to you, kind sir, but skip the opportunity...

Now, an Orval type masterpiece would be another matter, hmmmmm...

I think having someone take my remains to the Bernese Alps, lowering them deep into the Ewigschneefeld and wait for 10000 years for my frozen mummified corpse to reappear at the terminus of the Aletsch Gletscher, still clutching a mysterious depiction of an octopusheaded Deity, giving rise to all types of speculations, would also appeal to me :smile:

I wouldn't drink you, Tony. All due respect though.
Hmm. I'd probably settle at the bottom of the bottle anyhow, so I don't imagine it'd be all that good.

Now,now...sometimes the sediment is the best part. :grin:

ob... <gasp!> "Old socks extract"? Man, I thought you rocked. :sad:

Tony, I'd drink you if the hops were right. As for myself, I'm starting to think that maybe I want to be turned into a mist and unleashed into the air conditioning at a Nobel prize ceremony or something (CIAC, maybe?). Then I could at least live on as an encrustation in the lungs of greatness.

No worries Um... I down the occasional Guinness, just don't tell anyone...

Actually, I want my body to encased in cement to make myself a fossil..so that my grandchildren can have something to bring to show and tell.

...tonmo's Last Stand doesn't sound bad, but I'm not sure if Tony wants to become digested food bits.

http://www.summum.org/mummification/

I saw this site and thought of you all.

Now that's interesting. I like the idea of becoming part of a reef!

Do I want my ashes scattered at sea?? ABSOLUTELY!! I figure it's about as up close and personal as I'll ever get with a giant squid... :shock:

Do I want my ashes scattered at sea?? ABSOLUTELY!! I figure it's about as up close and personal as I'll ever get with a giant squid... :shock:


Unless they impale you with a big hook and dangle you into the Sea of Japan :)

Dan

They have to catch me first... :wink:

I guess I could have my ashes dipped in a sculpture somewhat reminiscent of Hokusai's dream of the fisherman's wife, then dumped into the sea.