View Full Version : Mesonychoteuthis humour!
Don't ask me to explain this. I just found it and it made me laugh!
http://www.squid.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Squid
Our very own Dr Steve has a starring mention.
Phil
PS Before you mention it, I come from Britain. That's why I spelt 'humor' wrongly. We are traditionalists, you know.
tomossan
Apr 13, '03, 6:47am
LOL :lol:
poor GS.....
I sent GS a note last week, asking him if he'd previously gone by the name "Midgard Serpent." No response. He's probably self-medicating with White Teuthids (4oz. aquavit, 4oz. Lysol, strained through crushed ice with an Orange Roughy garnish).
:glass:
Clem
Tintenfisch
Apr 13, '03, 4:40pm
:roflmao:
Oh my... too bad they based to much of it on that totally inaccurate infographic though... we tried to get them to fix that but apparently the damage has been done. :?
tomossan
Apr 13, '03, 6:10pm
you mean its not twice the size as a sperm whale?!?!
i am shocked and disheartened.
When will the fat cats at BBC learn that scientific accuracy is far more important than ratings.
this is a day of shame for Britain :oops:
only joking, but the graphic was cool; i did however think they reduced the GS's size and posture on purpose to make the Meso look more menacing.
Take care, :spongebo:
It's comforting to see that the double-decker bus remains one of Britain's standard unit of measure. If they were to be phased out, popular science would suffer a grievous loss.
:cry:
Clem
tomossan
Apr 13, '03, 6:40pm
dont even think about that clem.
its not worth upsetting yourself, and us over something that WILL NEVER HAPPEN!
and if it does, i think :meso: will have something to say about it. Its not evryday u get measured up agianst a double decker bus =P
Tomossan,
You're right, of course. The double-decker bus is as much an eternal symbol of Britain as the Concorde.
:roll:
Clem
GeoffC
Apr 16, '03, 1:55pm
It's comforting to see that the double-decker bus remains one of Britain's standard unit of measure.
And elephants... If you ever read a kids science book in the 70's. All dinosaurs, whales, monsters mythical or otherwise were measured in bus-lengths and elephant weights (usually bull elephants, as I believe the SI unit is called) :grad:
Hope that clarifies things?
WhiteKiboko
Apr 16, '03, 2:47pm
what about cows? how many times have i heard about something (or things - usually pirahnas) being able to eat a cow in X mins.
The poor cows. Perhaps that's the amazonian equivalent of "cow-tipping."
"Hey, I'm buzzed. Let's go push a yanqui cow in the river."
"10 blow-darts says it'll be eaten to the bone in two minutes."
"You're out of your mind. One minute, and I'll raise you two doses of anaconda."
"You're on. Waitaminnit. You don't have any anaconda."
"I will. Look behind you."
"Dang, that's a big one. How big would you guess that is?"
"Ohhh, lessee, maybe one, two double-decker buses, plus a bull elephant."
"What's an elephant?"
"What's a double-decker bus?"
(silence.)
"I'm hungry."
GeoffC
Apr 16, '03, 5:31pm
:lol:
But you seem to be mixing your units, Length is measured in Busses, Weight in Elephants. However I don't know what half units or multiples are called...
For further information I refer the honourable gentlemen to the same site that started this thread:
http://www.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Squid+127
"Notes From The Giant Squid: On the James Madison System of Weights and Measures (An Almanac Item)"
My units are distinct and un-mixed, thank you. It's the buzzing, prankish Yanomanis who conflated length and weight. I'm sure they'd appreciate the correction.
"Who was that guy?"
"Some yanqui. Apparently, we conflated different standards of measure."
"Is that like mixing metaphors?"
"What's a metaphor?"
(silence)
"You think he could outfight an adolescent Mesonychoteuthis?"
"No, but fifteen Capybara pelts says he doesn't last one minute in the candiru pool."
"You're on."
:goofysca:
Clem
Thanks for that link Geoff. It was very funny, whatever reality it comes from.
I hope Tani reads it!
Geoff, I totally agree with you about the use of a bull elephant as a 'norm' in kids science books of the seventies. It became a sort of 'British Gold Pachystandard' of its time. We used to be set complex maths problems at school such as:
'If an average sized Cockney Pearly King and Queen expand at a rate of one Imperial inch per week after eating X amounts of jellied eels, how many Pearly Kings and Queens could one place in a red double decker bus after Y weeks. And how many bowler hats could one fill up the rest of the space with? Please also calculate the drag co-efficient on the fully laiden bus and time taken to drive from Big Ben to Buckingham Palace'.
Capital, old chap.
Oh sorry, here's a squid! :meso:
Phil,
African or European jellied eels?
Clem
WhiteKiboko
Apr 16, '03, 10:16pm
, Length is measured in Busses, Weight in Elephants. However I don't know what half units or multiples are called...
wouldnt a hippo be about a half an elephant?
GeoffC
Apr 17, '03, 5:13pm
Capital, old chap.
Indeed!! What ho, is this the Clapham omnibus? Threpenny one to Hamersmith please.
African or European jellied eels?
European jellied eels are, I believe, a migratory species, whereas African jellied eels are prone to hide among the mangroves. Therefore any jellied eels consumed north o' the river are likely to be European. But if you tawkin about your whelks, cockles or winkles... :snail:
Tata for now.
GeoffC
Apr 17, '03, 5:20pm
wouldnt a hippo be about a half an elephant?
No, that would be an Elep :jester:
But then what are hippo's divided into?? And how would you weigh these things anyway? Hmmm, this calls for the BIG set of scales.
Quite right.
Unless, the African eels hitched a ride in the bilge tanks of a steam-vessel, or were introduced deliberately by a Sikh submariner intent on punishing the Sceptered Isle.
:snorkel:
Clem
Ah, Clem, surely the humble Nautilus follows a miandering non-migratory pattern. I recall no Rura-Penthe in the English Channel.
(I'm getting a bit lost now).
Yeah, me too. Weren't we talking about squid? I'm all for non-linear narratives, but... :bugout:
WhiteKiboko
Apr 18, '03, 11:34am
No, that would be an Elep :jester:
But then what are hippo's divided into?? And how would you weigh these things anyway? Hmmm, this calls for the BIG set of scales.
i walked into that one..... i dunno id have to guess a hippo is 2 or 3 gazelles.... or zebras if you follow the metric system
GeoffC
Apr 18, '03, 5:10pm
(I'm getting a bit lost now).
Yeah, me too. Weren't we talking about squid?
You want relevant? I got relevant. I got a whole herd of relevants with big ears and tusks, no wait a min... Doh!!
Ok how about this. How do you weigh a squid (thats not a cue for a lame tag line - cos if it is I've got dibs on it) but I mean does weight mean anything when you live in the sea??? Bulk I can immagine but does weight itself? ( :shock: Shock! Could this be a link back to the . ?!)
(I'm getting a bit lost now).
Yeah, me too. Weren't we talking about squid?
You want relevant? I got relevant. I got a whole herd of relevants with big ears and tusks
Geoff, I've I think you will find that's 'relephant', not 'relevant'.
As to your weight point, why not put a ceph on a pair of (Imperial) scales and note the result. Is this too simple?
(Does anyone have a clue what's going on on this thread?) :bugout:
ubiquity
Apr 20, '03, 2:02pm
the african or eurorean bit was a "python" reference,yes?
..just gotta know if we're all on the same page here! :roll:
amniote
Apr 20, '03, 3:50pm
Quite true about the standard texbook units...
Size/Volume - Double Decker Buses
Weight - Bull Elephants
Height - Storeys
Area - Football (soccer) Pitches
Speed - Express Trains
e.g. The Improbosaurus was the size of three double decker buses and weighed as much as 15 bull elephants. It stood as tall as a four storey building and its appetite was so prodigious that it consumed half a football pitch a day of tree-ferns. At full gallop it could outrun an express train.
:grad:
TaningiaDanae
Apr 24, '03, 3:05pm
In fact, its shadow alone weighed 500 lbs.
-- T. Weller, 1985, SCIENCE MADE STUPID
TaningiaDanae
Apr 24, '03, 3:22pm
Geoff, I've I think you will find that's 'relephant', not 'relevant'.
As to your weight point, why not put a ceph on a pair of (Imperial) scales and note the result. Is this too simple?
(Does anyone have a clue what's going on on this thread?) :bugout:
JUDGE: President Firefly, have you any more questions for Mr. Chicolini?
CHICOLINI: Wait a minute, I got a question for-a him.
RUFUS T. FIREFLY: Yes?
CHICOLINI: What's-a got-a big ears, big tusks, and a trunk?
RUFUS T. FIREFLY: That's irrelevant!
CHICOLINI: That's-a right, that's-a r'elephant. 'Ats-a some-a joke, eh boss?
-- DUCK SOUP, 1933
(OK, so I don't remember the script verbatim, but I don't have a clue what's going on on this thread either.... :bonk: )
Fujisawas Sake
Apr 26, '03, 3:20am
Naw, let's make it bigger... How about the size of a Blue Whale? And it has to come up on land to eat people, so it changes shape like a Tanuki, and tricks them into its RADULLA OF TERROR!
:heee: :heee: :heee: :heee: :heee:
Sushi and Sake,
John